Happy Birthday!

We visited Zoey on her birth date and placed balloons at her site- it was bittersweet and a little bit hard. We allowed Ayla to do the honors...she is so sweet! Ayla was having an "off" afternoon during our visit with Zoey...she was serious and fussy. It was a bit windy and chilly but we wondered....

We often find ourselves asking one another; "Does Ayla remember Zoey? As she grows, will she feel like something in her life is missing? Is it a good thing to bring Ayla to see Zoey's headstone?"

Ayla is our first and thus, 'experimental child' (poor girl) and it's probably most parent's concern that they are raised proper- we are normal....we hope! 

 Ayla testing out the dry, hard grass. Not such a fan.

 Balloons and purple flowers for Zoey-Munkin!

 Family photo-op

It wouldn't be truthful to say after two years we aren't emotional; we still are. Some days prove more difficult than others and the melancholy feeling is present whenever we think about Zoey. We both grieve differently and in our own private manner. It's not easy to explain.

We often say to each other, "What is Zoey doing right now? Is she watching Ayla? Does she see the neat things Ayla is doing?" The obvious answer is yes- yes Zoey is there...always. Our faith and belief do not allow to think otherwise and for that, we are blessed.

We know Zoey is an angel watching over our family, we have felt her presence on several occasions throughout the last two years. How neat is that?

We forget how teensy, tiny Ayla and Zoey were when they were born- under 2 pounds. So a visual:  

This plaster hand and foot are Zoey's on the date she passed, March 8th 2009, 24 days after her birth. I have small hands and her hand and foot fit comfortably inside my palm. Amazing, right? 

Now imagine this: Ayla was smaller than Zoey.... 

Almost incomprehensible that mirco-preemie-babies born this tiny can eventually grow big and strong.....but they do! Ayla is proof. 


On a funner note: Ayla and I received a "sneak peak" into her upcoming birthday present from Ryan- a beautiful rocking horse!

 Of course, I needed to test the durability and sturdiness of the design so took it for a spin....
Ayla thought I was mite crazy and wanted to climb aboard too!

Ryan began building this horse in January and brought it home to "pass inspection" on Ayla's part. 

Yep- she likes it!