Interesting Article- worth reading

I belong to a micro-preemie support group and one of the ladies there emailed this article (link below) posted by the New York Times which I thought was worth sharing. Her name is Abby and she is one of the mothers featured in the article.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&hpw

It brings out some interesting points; so if Ryan and I "go loco" on ya'll you'll know why...just kidding! We have been asked to join the St. Luke's Parents Support Group and befriend those parents currently experiencing the NICU roller coaster ride. We would help provide support and talk with them about their experience and share our own. When Ayla is more stable we will be taking turns with the group.

Being Thankful

This is an introspective post so pardon the rambling thoughts....

Sunday was a day for thinking and reflection. I attended the last portion of church and the lesson was on 'Adversity' and how adversity allows us to become stronger and draw closer to our Heavenly Father. I enjoy listening to the comments made by those women attending the class as most are very enlightening and others, well, others just want to share their own sob stories about how hard their life is. I rarely comment, mostly because I don't have anything 'enlightening' to say. However, yesterday I almost spoke up (but didn't want to come across as snobby or rude) in response to one woman's 'whiny' answer to a question.

Instead, I sat there and began to think about how blessed my life is, despite the latest trials and despite losing Zoey. There are far, far too many blessing which outweigh the 'adversities' in my life! I felt sorrow for those who focus on the negative and constantly whine about insignificant little stuff that doesn't even matter in the big picture. I'm not saying that it isn't okay to whine and vent- we all need to do that- but it isn't okay to whine and vent constantly (especially in a church group setting). You know the type of people....and you've learned to never ask "how are you"....

So Sunday was good, a great reminder of keeping life into perspective and remembering our long-term goals. I am thankful- even for the "garbage" that happens. Adversity brings out the real character inside and tests the inner core of who you are. A source of inspiration for me is Ayla; she cannot give up or take a break or whine about her circumstances- she thrives and grows despite them. She is so strong!

I think about Zoey and how I need to live my life correctly so that I might be worthy to raise her (I'm not worried about Ryan living righteously, we could all take lessons from his example!). I think about Zoey all the time, wonder what she's doing, what she looks like, what her personality style is and if she would be pleased with my choices. It's a difficult emotion to explain to someone who has never lost a child; it's sorrow and hope combined with nostalgia (or something like that). We are blessed to have an angel-baby watching over our family, it brings comfort and smiles. Everyday on my way to and from work I drive past Zoey's grave site and always greet her with, "hello Zoey's body" and "goodbye Zoey's body". Silly, but it brings a smile and I know Zoey can hear.

Funny Video!

BIG yawns...don't we all feel like this at times?

Ayla has begun to dislike her baths...intensely! Not sure why, she used to LUV them!

So, we posted a funny video on her blog. You'll have to check it out;

http://amazingayla.blogspot.com/

In other news: it's been a fairly uneventful week (whew!). We have both been busy with work and keeping up with Miss Ayla, she has loads of energy! That energy comes from Ryan because I certainly don't have that! haa haa

Tummy Time with dad

Family Fun!

Miss Ayla received many visitors this weekend for the Stephenson Reunion- she was quite the popular "attraction"..... haa haa. It was viewings through the back door for the kiddo's! It's amazing how much she is growing and how strong she is becoming- we love our little miracle!

Quick update: I went back to work very part time from 2-5pm, enough to escape the house for a bit and keep my food benefits. It's been fun to dress up and head into work for a few hours and feel productive. Ayla is already a full-time job....but it's nice to re-connect with co-workers and friends. To make this possible, Ryan (who is the awesomest husband and father EVER) adjusted his work hours so that he could be home in time for me to head off to work. We have applied for Respite Care and if that is approved, I will work half-days and leave Ayla with an RN for a few additional hours.

We are waiting on Zoey's headstone to arrive- any day now! It's taking awhile because we wanted a picture of her on the stone. Right now there is a flower and small windmill marking her gravesite. Little Zoey! We miss you!!

Ayla's favorite snuggling position

Ryan taking a quick snooze