Evening of Memories

On Tuesday, Ryan and I were invited to share our story about Zoey at the St. Luke's 'Evening of Memories' Program.

We were both anxious and nervous but at the same time, glad to speak about Zoey and our experiences with her.

Ryan shared our brief story regarding Zoey and then I spoke on ways we honor and remember her.

After our talks, we played the slide show video of Zoey which was put together by the "Now I Lay me Down to Sleep" organization. That was hard- I still need to close my eyes during that video or end up a blubbering, snotty mess.

There are just a few things we're not yet prepared to review...one of those is her journal and for me, videos.

It was a neat program and we were grateful to be a part of it!

We met and mingled with fellow parents there who had lost children and it was nice to hear their story and talk about our little ones who had passed. Though Zoey's life was brief, we still miss her and think about her everyday. 

One woman shared that my remarks had touched her and she was grateful she attended, especially the part of my talk where I had said, "It's okay to grieve and there is no timeline for grief. When you lose a loved one, a piece of you goes missing that will always be lost until you're reunited with them. You feel sorrow and that's okay." 

She and her husband lost a child over the summer and she expressed the frustration of feeling guilty about still 'grieving' because someone had made a thoughtless comment to the way of, "get over it already, there's been enough time...."  She felt as thought there were an expected time frame to grieve then not speak of it again. I told her, "Poo-poo on that! Take as much time as you need and never, ever let anyone tell you otherwise." That comment was either made by someone who had not lost a child or close loved one and properly digested their emotions regarding. Or perhaps, by someone well-meaning who didn't know the right thing to say. Either way, I tell people that a simple smile and listening ear is all that's needed, no need for words. 

Glad we were able to share Zoey's story. After all, what parent doesn't like to talk about their child?