One year ago today (on the 26th) would mark the 'official' due date for Ayla & Zoey....they would be 1 years old.
That feels strange!
Today Ayla had an eye appointment downtown and afterwards we took her over to the NICU to visit the RN's, RT's and Doctors that worked with her during her 4.5 month stay. It was almost surreal to see everyone again because Ayla is 3x her size (literally) from when she left. She's been an NICU "graduate" for almost 11 months yet it feels like we were just there. Odd how you never forget some things......
The St. Luke's staff present were happy to see Ayla and couldn't believe how big and beautiful she is- of course! As we watched other parents walking in and out it was difficult not to stop them and say, "See? Look! Your baby will leave too- it feels like it may never happen but it WILL!"
It's bittersweet to look at Ayla and imagine another 1 year old baby- what would Zoey be doing? Surely they would be friends and steal each others toys? It's a thought that is constantly lurking in the back of our minds and oftentimes we'll look at one another and say, "Wonder what Zoey would be doing- the same things as Ayla?" It's sad yet we are at peace because we know Zoey is where she needs to be.
Sometimes, my arms miss Zoey although I only held her once......
2 comments:
Your arms miss her because you held her in your heart so many times before she was born. Love your blog. Kappy
Your arms will always ache for her...mine ache every day for Trinity. That ache wont go away until we are re-united with our precious babies...happy "1-year" birthday...that is strange.
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