Evening of Memories

Thursday night Ryan and I attended a special program hosted every year by St. Luke's called an 'Evening of Memories'.
It's a service of remembrance for the loved ones we have lost in our lives. It was touching and emotional and (silly me!) I forgot the tissues in haste to get out the door! There were beautiful musical selections, moments of silence and encouraging words spoken by those who have lost close family members both recent and in years past.

During the program there was a part titled the "Blessing of the Candles" in which various St. Luke staff members lit a candle and spoke of the significance of each. There were 4 candles lighted, each one representing something different;

1) Grief- the pain of losing is intense and reminds us of the depth of our love

2) Courage- to confront our sorrows, to change our lives

3) Light- to remember all the memories given

4) Light- to offer our love and thanks for the gift of life

One of the talks focused on the "Grievers Bill of Rights for the Holidays" and that we have the right to feel different and sometimes, be a little 'bah humbug' if we want.....

A point that struck personally was that grief has no timeline; just because it was months or years ago that a loved one passed, doesn't necessarily make it any less painful or that we can't feel emotional at anytime.

It gave Ryan and I pause to consider that neither of us have really had the time to properly grieve for Zoey. Although she was here for a short time, we loved her instantly and deeply. Our time has been focused on Ayla and seeing her through the NICU, helping her at home and focusing on her growth and development- she is a busy girl and keeps us on the go! That being said; when will we have the time to grieve? Perhaps we already are in our own ways.....perhaps like candle #2, we are yet lacking the courage to properly face our sorrows. And yet....

We are incredibly blessed and know that the hand of God has been guiding our lives and answering prayers; so why should there be sorrow? We know that Zoey is perfect, beautiful and with God doing His work- there is no sorrow in that knowledge. There is light and happiness and peace that she is a perfect angel saved from the hassle and challenge of this earthly life.

How comforting and exciting to know that we may be with her again! How great to know that she is with us in spirit, encouraging Ayla and playing beautiful angel music for us to hear.