Kinda Akward & Music

We find ourselves running into this situation often when one asks, "How many children do you have?" to which we reply, "Two girls." Invariably the follow-up question is, "How old are they?"
Which then leads to the explanation, "They are identical twins born in February, 3 months early. Ayla & Zoey. One lives with us and one lives in heaven." We say this always, with a smile. At that point, people will normally change the subject or fall into an awkward silence.

While this isn't awkward for us, it is for others. Most people have apologized and I inquire why- why apologize? In more casual situations we gloss over the details as to spare any "weird" feelings. Because in truth- most people don't care, they are merely trying to make small talk. This doesn't bother us, we like to talk about our girls- what normal parent doesn't like to talk about their children? Sheesh, I could talk for hours and hours....and Ayla's only 9 months old! :-)

When I was pregnant with the girls, I'd play music with a beat and sing along. To this day, Ayla calms when we turn on music or sing. We believe there is music in heaven- beautiful music. Oftentimes late at night, we can hear the faint strains of music and believe it is Zoey playing angel music for Ayla. Ayla loves music, especially when we sing or hum to her. She will stop and stare at our mouths and grow quiet. It's fun to watch her staring so intently and watching your face. It would be cool to know what she's thinking!

Random Acts

Back in March one of my sisters had a great idea; dedicate the 8th day of every month to performing a "Random Act of Kindness" in honor of baby Zoey who passed away March 8th. We love it!

Here is how Wikipedia defines a random act of kindness….

“A random act of kindness is a purportedly selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases even an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.”

Ryan and I have since carried on the tradition and like to stay anonymous- it's the best! Sometimes we leave little notes for the recipient (signed by Angel Zoey)....

We would be honored if you would like to participate in this kindness act every month. It doesn't have to be something huge or grand- but small and thoughtful. Here are some ideas;

• Make the bed for a family member or do a chore
  
  
• Write and send an anonymous card



• Deliver a goodie basket made with love



• Cheer the dispirited



• Lend a helping hand to a mother



• Do a secret act of service



• Let the person in a hurry behind, go before you



• Donate to a charitable cause



• Volunteer randomly



• Give up your lunch to the needy



• Sincerely compliment a stranger
  

“A random act of kindness is a manifestation of abundance thinking.”

Scars

Sweet feet....


Was thinking today: Ayla has been home for 4 months....really? It's so incredible! I recall sitting with her in the NICU thinking we'd never get out....yet we escaped! She was so small, impossibly so- and now she is big and chubby and freaking adorable! She was always adorable though....

Life has certainly changed for us- and we wouldn't have it any other way. Ayla and Zoey brought a unique perspective into our lives, a glimpse into the eternities and softer hearts. We easily cry with parents of struggling children and have a deeper love for all of God's children. We've been constantly humbled by the kindness of family, neighbors, friends and strangers. It's been a lesson in humility and faith. It's far easier being on the giving rather than receiving end. Through it all, we are constantly amazed with Ayla and healing power of prayer and the Priesthood.

As she grows we notice 'survival wounds' coming to light; scars on her hands and feet from numerous IV's and needle draws, marks on her legs (one in a perfect circle) from the C02 Sensors and oximeters, surgery scars on her sides and stomach from procedures and other scars that bear testament to her toughness. I'd like to kiss them away, rub them off with a gentle touch.....but those scars are part of her. They remind us of her strength and how special she is. As she grows we will teach her about those marks and how proud we are of her- how God carried her through and comforted her.

We love being with Ayla and she has brought our family closer together. We are grateful she will not remember her time inside the NICU, we are grateful she doesn't know she's different and we don't care. Those who do not know Ayla's story or anything about micro-babies can be quick to judge- and since returning to work I have received many an "advice" from good-meaning people who just don't understand. I get it and I rarely become angry unless confronted with ignorant stupidity...and there has been some! But for the most part, it's been good. I find that I like educating people regarding Ayla- there are so many fascinations!

We know Ayla will become perfect as she continues to grow and develop- she has a special purpose here....she is already perfect....more so than any of us! Now if we could only translate what she's been trying to tell us- I am sure she could blow our minds!