We find ourselves running into this situation often when one asks, "How many children do you have?" to which we reply, "Two girls." Invariably the follow-up question is, "How old are they?"
Which then leads to the explanation, "They are identical twins born in February, 3 months early. Ayla & Zoey. One lives with us and one lives in heaven." We say this always, with a smile. At that point, people will normally change the subject or fall into an awkward silence.
While this isn't awkward for us, it is for others. Most people have apologized and I inquire why- why apologize? In more casual situations we gloss over the details as to spare any "weird" feelings. Because in truth- most people don't care, they are merely trying to make small talk. This doesn't bother us, we like to talk about our girls- what normal parent doesn't like to talk about their children? Sheesh, I could talk for hours and hours....and Ayla's only 9 months old! :-)
When I was pregnant with the girls, I'd play music with a beat and sing along. To this day, Ayla calms when we turn on music or sing. We believe there is music in heaven- beautiful music. Oftentimes late at night, we can hear the faint strains of music and believe it is Zoey playing angel music for Ayla. Ayla loves music, especially when we sing or hum to her. She will stop and stare at our mouths and grow quiet. It's fun to watch her staring so intently and watching your face. It would be cool to know what she's thinking!
3 comments:
music is such a powerful connection
You will always be the parents of Zoey and she will always be your first born and #1 in the order (I think I remember she was born first?). The number of children you eventually are blessed with will always include her...and she will always have her place....I'm so thankful that she paused for a brief moment here on earth so that you could hold her in your arms...you have done such an amazing and beautiful job honoring her! You make me feel guilty!
You are very brave. Zoey knows how much you love her of that I am sure. Everyone of us who belongs to a baby angel have to answer those questions. Sometimes it is awkward and other times it seems natural. You have 2 children. I have 4 and there is nothing on earth that can change those facts.
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